Over Half of a Lifetime!

It just dawned on me that since I was almost 17 1/2 yrs old I have been trying to have a baby. That means that over half of my life I have spent being poked, prodded, probed, tested, medicated, arguing with doctors who just don't seem to know or understand what is wrong, and so on, just to become a mother. 10 yrs ago (this coming August) I was blessed with becoming pregnant and being able to give birth to our beautiful son (our miracle--in May of the following year). But since then I have spent a lot of time in doctor's offices, with my legs in stir-ups with people looking at my most intimate area all for the sake of being able to be blessed again. I have gone as far as poking myself with a needle in my stomach and putting pills in places where pills just should not go, in hopes of becoming pregnant. I joke about the fact that I don't have to take pills or precautions to prevent an "unwanted" pregnancy like other women, instead I have to do just the opposite, I have to go to almost the ends of the earth (the women who go to the ends of the earth on this same quest in my opinion are the ones that have no other choice but invetro) to try to accomplish what those who just look at the opposite sex are trying to prevent. BROKEN! DEFECTIVE! NOT WOMANLY! ALONE! ASHAMED! MISUNDERSTOOD! SELFISH! that's how I feel a lot of the time. It's like you have this awful secret and there is just no one to share it with because no one seems to know or understand what you are going through. Yes, they try (some harder than others) but complete comprehension is just never achieved. Only those who have battled this lonely path in life or are exteremly close to someone who has, can understand some of what you are or have gone through (everyone's journey is different, therefore no one can completely understand 100% about your personal journey on this road or any other road that you have traveled through in this life, even when they want to with all their heart). I believe that PCOS just might be one of the most loneliest diseases that a woman can try to journey through.

Hyperplasia Update

Had to go have a sonogram yesterday, what joy! There was a cyst on the right ovary and the lining was slightly thick. Other than that everything looked okay. Cycles are coming pretty regularly. Had to get a shot last month but not this month. As long as everything continues as it's going, I wont have to have another surgery until the spring, if even then. It would be nice not to have to have another one for a while. I had way to many of them last year. My hair doesn't seem to be growing as quickly and I wonder if it's still not from that high progesterone treatment. Coming off that stuff messed with me something awful. I pray I never have to go through that again. In October I went to hair dresser and the gal, cut off all the effected hair. You could see where the new growth that came in after I went off the medicine started and where the old growth was. I ended up with an awful haircut to just remove the effected hair. I do have to say though that my hair pretty much has stopped coming out in fistfuls in the shower since it was cut. That was very freaky. I am being very serious about this, if you have don't have a regular monthly cycle (especially one that doesn't come at least every 3 months) get your hinney into the doctor now and if they don't listen to you see a specialist in Female Reproductive Health. Not having a month cycle is a very dangerous thing, especially if you have something like PCOS. If your doctor doesn't know about PCOS and you think you have it . Arm yourself with information, be your own advocate (this also goes for any other type of aliment). That is what I had to do, I got tired of arguing with doctors who couldn't find out what was wrong. It's frustrating. Surprisingly there are still a lot of doctors out there that have no clue (even specialists) about PCOS, sometimes you have to guide them more then they will guide you through it.