I have been feeling lately as if people are judging me by the way I look. My hair is thinning in places, I have hair that grows from my chin & I am fat. These are only the things that they can see on the outside. No one can see the issues my body is going through on the inside. No one knows how hard I struggle and hate the way I look. I know if you are reading this then you are saying if this is the issue then fix it. But it's not 100% fixable for me. I have a disease, one that a lot of people don't understand or even know that in addition to having infertility issues there are so many other health problems and little quirks that go hand and hand with my disease. My Disease is called Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I struggle with this disease and have every day since I was 11, when I was blessed with my cycle. I didn't know it though until 1999 or 2000. I went through years of not knowing what was wrong with me, why I couldn't do that simple thing of giving a child to my husband. People stare at me, their looks tell me everything that they are thinking. Lady loose weight. Lady take care of yourself. Lady quite being so lazy. Heck, I have actually had a family member tell me that I was Fat, Ugly and Lazy. This broke my heart. I don't want to be fat, I would give anything to have the body that Britney Spears (NO I DON'T CONDONE THIS LADY LIFE...I am just using her to make a statement...you will see what I mean as you read on) that the press and tabloids had the audacity to claim was a fat. LOL! Yeah right if that is fat then I am in HUGE trouble and no wonder why I keep feeling like people are judging me for my weight. It is exteremly hard for a woman with PCOS to loose weight, so much so that my doctor told me she wouldn't put me on a diet. It would be more disasterous for my state of mind and mental well being because it would be so fustrating for me. She just said eat breakfast, get 30 mins of exercise a day and take care of yourself by taking your meds daily.
FACTS ABOUT PCOS: Is also known as Stein-Leventhal Syndrome or Polycystic Ovary Disease (PCOD). Affects an estimated 6-10% of all women and most don't even know they have it. Is treatable, but not curable, by medications, changes in diet (sometimes but not always..this depends on lots of other factors) and exercise. Is one of the leading causes of infertility in women. Has been identified for 75 years and they still aren't sure what causes it. Affects far more than just reproduction. IT IS NOT just a cosmetic problem. CAN INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS: Irregular or absent menses, Numerous cysts on the ovaries in many, but not all, cases, High blood pressure, High Cholesterol, Acne, Elevated insulin levels, Insulin Resistance, or Diabetes, Infertility, Excess hair on the face and body, Thinning of the scalp hair (alopecia), Weight Problems or obesity that is centered around your mid section. (please note this is just the short list of other ailments and side effects a woman can suffer with PCOS). (NOTE: added 6/30/11 if you are a woman with PCOS and don't have a regular monthly mense (especially if it last longer than a week or an unusually heavy flow) consult your doctor (keep pushing them if you have too) to find out what is going on. This could be a sign of something more serious with PCOS. Sorry don't want to freak you out but it's serious enough to put this warning on here. Even if you don't have PCOS and one of these issues arise, consult your doctor (especially if it continues over a duration of time).
I feel like I need walk around with a huge badge on my chest or a tattoo on my forhead that states I AM DEFECTIVE, PLEASE DO NOT JUDGE ME ON MY OUTSIDE APPEARANCE
