Baby Dancing

Last night we began the pleasure of baby dancing. We are praying that we are successful this month and will be able to announce in a few weeks that we are pregnant. I would be happy to have this done, so I can stop taking the clomid. I have been taking it for about a year now, with the first dose not working like it should, having to adjust the dosage, then Kirk having to move to Kansas while Edward and I stayed behind in Oklahoma, then moving our home to Kansas, unpacking and a 20 day vacation for Edward and I.....has as you can imagine put us behind. Its not that I don't love baby dancing but its more like a chore or task then a pleasure when you have to work to get pregnant. But you know if it was not for my PCOS and difficulty getting pregnant due to the PCOS, I would probably not have given things in my life to God and let him take charge. Because all I have been through, I gave him everything and left it up to him when things would work out for us to start family. 1 yr after I did this, I was blessed with a doctor (who is also a Christian) who knew what was wrong and could tell me why I had such a whacked out, almost non-existent cycle. After that answer, we (Kirk and I) talked about our opitions. After a few years of dragging our feet out of concern and being scared to death things wouldn't work, we gave the Clomid a try. It worked wonderfully for us and I was pregnant just 2 months into taking it. This was a TOTAL GOD MIRACLE. Clomid doesn't usually work that quickly with women with PCOS. Edward is our miracle baby, a blessing from God. We had so many people praying for us to get pregnant, that is why the clomid worked so fast.....the power of prayer. So now 4 yrs after conceiving our son (a little later than we orginally wanted....but was side tracked due to Kirk's accident) we are trying again and putting our faith in God's hands. We are willing to accept his decision no matter what. If we don't concieve by Dec (the date of my last Clomid refill) then we will know that it isn't in God's Will for our family to grow any larger than it is. Yes, I will be a little sad at first but I know that God only wants what is best for us. I have seen Him work so many ways in our lives over the years, that I have no right to question His decisions. He has always been there for us, and done what is right for our family. Living by Faith in Christ is the best decision I could have ever made in my life.

PCOS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I was just writing I have a friend with Lupus, and like Lupus, PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) is a disease that there is not much known about. So I can understand to some degree what my friend with Lupus faces on a daily, lots of people think she is just faking or is a hypo-conderact. My PCOS has brought me closer to God. It has allowed me to learn so much. My Faith in the Lord is very strong because of it. I was able to work in a day care and to be a nanny for 5 years before God blessed us with a child of our own. I was able to learn patience, important nurturing, unconditional love, and just how to raise a child with love and acceptance for who they are. People say that God doesn't give us diseases or allow bad things to us. Of course He doesn't give us disease but he does allow them to happen to us and other things that will cause trials in our lives. He does it out of love for us not out of hate. He wants us to grow stronger in our faith and walk with him. Sometimes he allows things to happen to put us back in our place. I love Him for this.