Last Month

This is the last month for us with the Clomid treatments. I really am upset with our OB/GYN. I feel like she wasted our time (precious and valuable it was too), this past year. She didn't listen to me when I told her that the progesterone pills weren't working and that I needed the shot instead. I told her this at least 3 times but oh no, this was the new way of doing things and it was the only way we were going to do it....according to her. I was on those stupid pills 3 different times and do you think that things ever really got into to sinc with my body? No! So in Aug, I mention this issue to my Endocrinologist, who in my presence emails my OB/GYN about this and low behold in Sept when I see her the OB/GYN is like well the next time you need a shot, you just tell me and I will make sure you get one. GRRRRRRRR!!!!!! I was so mad, I wanted to scream at her. Then she has the audacity to tell me that I was very emotional the last time I saw here.....hmmmmm, could it have been that my body was so messed up hormonally from being on all those meds (Progesterone every 6 to 7 weeks and then a treatment of Clomid about 15 days after that). Give me a break! When you aren't able to get PG like just about every other woman on the face of the Earth, you are already a little bit of an emotional wreck.....then add to it treatments, doctor appointments and schedules for trying to get PG that may or may not work....of course you are going to be a little high strung and emotional, don't you think? At this point I want nothing more than for this to work or I might just cry for months and cause a flood in my home. It also doesn't help that people are turning up all around me pregnant or just having been blessed with a new baby. I just keep telling myself stay strong, don't wear your feelings on your sleeve and trust in God, He will get you through this.

TTC Fustration

Oye Vey! This has turned out to be a very fustrating 4 1/2 months. I thought for sure we would be pregnant by now. I have had to be put on my 3rd round of Progesterone. I am not happy about this one bit. I have voiced to my current OBGYN that my old OBGYN in OK didn't use pills but gave me a shot of Progestrone, which worked wonderfully in getting everything jumped started. I am starting to think that the pills are part of the problem that I am having (my body is use to that one BIG amount of Progestrone not small amounts over a 10 day period) and why I have to keep going back on the Progestrone every 5 to 6 weeks. She did up my Clomid to 100mg which is 4 times as much as I took to get Pregnant with Edward. She didn't give me a refill this time though for the Clomid, so I am thinking that she is thinking if my cycle doesn't do what it is suppose to do this time through then she is going to refer me to a fertility specialist. Do to time lines and an agreement that Kirk and I made a long time ago about how far we are willing to go to get pregnant on this crazy infertility trip we are on, this would close all doors for us and Edward will be an only child. So basically now things are really up in the air about another baby. If you have been praying for us, please continue to pray that GOD's will be done in this situation. Thank You!

Here We Go!

Just wanted to give an update that we (well I) officially started Clomid today! Please keep us in your prayers during this time. I go back to see my OBGYN in June, if nothing by then, not sure if she will up me to a higher dosage or what.

Still Trying (UPDATE 3/14/09)

Well Kirk is off to another doctors appointment on the 20th (unfortunately that is the same day that Edward and I have a field trip with our homeschool co-op group....ugh I will be 650 ft under ground...talking about panicking) to see the specialist. I went for my appointment at the beginning of this month. I have to go back in 2 months to see my OBGYN again for a follow up appointment. She informed me that my PCOS is out of control and needs to be reined back in. I am following her recommendations to get things back under control. Please pray that I can get it back in order and that Kirks appointment goes well. This is agonizing.

*****UPDATED*****Jan 20,2009*****

Kirk had his appointment today. The Doctor declared him 100% A-Okay. So it is a problem at my end. We now wait and see what happens with my PCOS and if it can be gotten back under control by then. Please pray that it gets under control and we can get on with the program.

@@@@@ UPDATED @@@@ March 14, 2009 @@@@

Well, I went to my follow up appointment with the OBGYN on this past Monday. I haven't had my cycle since Jan, so I spent all of Feb wondering if a miracle have taken place. After 3 home test and a blood test, much to our disappointment...no we weren't pregnant. It was just my PCOS acting up. My OBGYN put me on a 10 day progrestrone therapy to get my cycle jump started. Once that gets going....it will be back to taking sessions of Clomid. We will start out on 50 mg this time (twice as much as we took to get pregnant with Edward). I am praying for Gods Will but have asked him for a girl, would love to get pregnant in April, so she would be born in Jan 2010...which would make me just over 37 plus no birthdays on either side of family in that month. So if you have been following this, please pray for us and God's Will. Even though this is what our hearts desire, that doesn't mean it is what is in God's Plan for our family. We have to trust that He knows what is best for us.