DH's Appointment

DH had his appointment today. Good news he isn't on the bottom of the pile so to speak but he isn't at the top...he is basically average. He has to go back in 2 months, the doctor wants me to go with him. So back to the Clomid we go. Of course the doctor told DH he wanted him to loose some weight and to go back to not smoking. Ever since his accident it has been hit and miss with the smoking thing. I know he is trying and that is all I can ask of him. It is that time of year for me to go see my doctor, so we will see what she has to say now that DH's been to the doctors and all. Will keep you posted.

Update on DH's Test (UPDATED 7/11/08)

I will try to keep this family friendly but let you know what is happening. We finally got DH's test results back after almost 3 weeks of waiting on pins and needles. Count is good, mobility is down and some are misshapen (this is called Sperm morphology...this is usually seen in guys who are smokers or drinkers). We have been referred to a specialist (I think that he might be a Urologist). DH and I will be discussing this. I don't know how DH will feel about all the tests that I have read that they will want him to go through. Men are kinda funny about that stuff, well at least DH is. He had a hard enough time going to get this initial test done. So I will keep you posted on what we decide to do and if there is even something that we can do about it. I think some of this ties to DH's Accident that he had. I guess the specialist is the only one who will be able to clarify this for us though. Well just thought I would let you know. I know that this is a touchy subject with some of my readers, while others are very supportive and want to know. Sorry if I offend anyone. Just want to put it out there because we sure can use the prayers for God's guidance and will for us in this situation.

*****UPDATE*****
DH has agreed to go to see the doctor. However the doctor has a long wait to see him, so the appointment wont be until Sept 30th. In a lot of ways this is good, DH seeing the doctor that is. This will get some of the MEN tests that he needs to have done any way for health reasons. It is a Urologist that he will be seeing. They will preform various tests on him and then we will have to wait for the results, I am guessing that the wait will probably be as long as the wait we had on the initial test that started it all. Of course I will keep you posted as to what we find out. Thanks to everyone who is praying for us.

Waiting on Pins and Needles (update about DH's test)

Well here we sit, waiting on pins and needles for DH's test results. He went a week ago tomorrow to get his little "soldiers" counted. I just called the OBGYN's to see if they have gotten the results yet and they said it can take up to 10 days! 10 days??? 10 days with all this hi-tech technology that we have. Oie Vey! I just want this part over with so we know what we are dealing with and if a 2nd baby is even possible. I just can't handle all the ups and downs that come with waiting every month to see if we were successful or not. I will let you know what we find out.

Still Trying for Number 2

Just a quick note to let you know that we are still trying for baby number 2. I had to go in a week ago today and have a sonogram done. It wasn't to see if everything was alright for us to have another baby but because I was having very bad stomach pains and issues. All is well it turns out besides some cysts in both ovaries but that goes with having PCOS and they will come and go all time. So I have been given a clean bill of health and my stomach issues were related to the cyst bursting. Since all is well there, we decided to quit dragging our feet and get Kirk into the doctors to have the count done that he needs to get done, in order for us to continue on with fertility treatments. Since he had severe bruising from his accident we aren't sure if there was damage done or not, that could be causing us not to be able to get pregnant with number 2. So I am asking that everyone keep Kirk in your prayers Wednesday, June 18th, that he will be able to produce a sample and they will be able to get a good count from him (thus showing nothing wrong). Also please pray that if nothing is wrong and that if it is God's Will for our family, that we will concieve baby number 2 soon and have a healthy pregnancy. I let you know the results of Kirks test.

Not Dealing With Life Well Right Now...DEPRESSED BIG TIME

Lately I haven't been dealing with life issues very well. To much here at home going on with the remodel and renovation (feeling overwhelmed), Kirk's mom is coming for a week, Edward's 5th Birthday Party is less than 2 weeks away, and then yesterday when I got to church I noticed someone was pregnant (or at least looked like they were...trust me it isn't that I am not exstactic and over joyed from them, I am...I am being selfish and demanding God tell me why it isn't me). Lately I find myself being overly selfishness and distrusting God that He knew and was doing what was right for our family when my heart wants something else so badly. It is so hard sometimes, I know I have to trust and have faith in God, even if the answer is no or later. It just seems that later isn't the answer either given time lines, and to be truthful it breaks my heart to think of Edward being an only child...I know one day (if the Lord doesn't come first) that Kirk and I will leave this earth and Edward will be all alone on it (I know of course he will have God to lean on and care for him). I know that one day he will marry and have a family of his own but he wont have siblings to love and support him, to remember his growing up times with or his parents specialness. I also see him around littler children and I see how much of a great big brother he would be and it breaks my heart that I can't give him that. I hate having PCOS. It sucks so much but I know that there is a reason for everything and it is all in God's plans for us. I think partly a lot of this has to do with Edwards birthday, the fact that he is getting older and how much of an age difference there would be between him and another child now. I just need to be thankful and grateful that God has given me Edward and quit dwelling on what probably will never be. I feel by not trusting that it will happen in God's timing or accepting that He might have already given us the answer in the form of No, that I am not be faithful in him. Does that make sense? Well, at least I got a good cry out of confessing and write this entry. It is so hard, I feel sometimes as if I am all alone and no one understands (especially family).